Retail Therapy

That's what I need now... haha. I'm having so much trouble deciding what to wear (even though I only need to choose on weekends) cos I think I'm bored with my clothes - either I keep repeating those that I like, or I now look fat in certain clothes, or I simply don't like some of the clothes anymore. Haha, don't mean to sound bimbotic! Anyway, I have not gotten anything new for about 9 months now... griefs! I'd like to have new clothes to wear, but to find time and energy to shop! Goodness, that's the hard part. :P

You'd Never Know When...

You'd never known when you'd end up encouraging someone. I think somehow God factored that into His design. Why am I saying this now? Cos I have been receiving emails from a particular colleague. The emails contain fictional short stories that are like metaphors. Similiar to my earlier post on the Coffee Bean, Carrot and Egg. So anyway, my point is that I'm feeling pretty stretched this period of time... but I received a timely encouragement when I opened my email just now. I received this particular mail that lifted my spirit (Posted below). So it goes to show huh, don't unestimate a simple action - it could mean alot to someone out there! So that's why now I'm sharing this on my blog cos I think it's so meaningful and so appropriate to my circumstances now. =) I particularly like the ones in purple.


Things To Remember

I find what I look for in people. If I look for God, I find God. If I look for bad qualities, I find them. I, in a sense, select what I expect, and I receive it.

A life without challenges would be like going to school without lessons to learn.

Challenges come not to depress or get me down, but to master and to grow and to unfold thereby.

In the Father's wise and loving plan for me, no burden can fall upon me, no emergency can arise, no grief can overtake me, before I am given the grace and strength to meet them.

A rich, full life is not determined by outer circumstances and relationships. These can be contributory to it, but cannot be the source. I am happy or unhappy because of what I think and feel.

I can never lose anything that belongs to me, nor can I posses what is not really mine.

To never run from a problem: either it will chase me or I will run into another just like it, although it may have a different face or name.

To have no concern for tomorrow. Today is the yesterday over which I had concern.

To never bang on a closed door: Wait for it to open and then go through it.

A person who has come into my life has come either to teach me something, or to learn something from me.

~ You've made a difference. Trust in a God that is all powerful and loving. ~

Sighs

As the title says.

Two Things in My Thoughts

FYI: The previous blogpost was for fun. Haha... ~You know what I mean~

Anyway, the more serious thoughts that I've having these days are these two questions:

1) The value of life

I just started doing death cases. I think life is really fragile... it can go any point in time. And its the people left behind who would feel the loss. So live life to the fullest! What does that mean to me? It means not holding on to the temporary, living honorably, loving the people around, not holding on to the petty things like anger, bitterness, jealousy, etc. Basically all these are nicely elaborated in the bible! I hope to live the life that God has intended for me to live. =)

Anyway, value the life that you have. No matter how bad things may get, life is not yours. It belongs to God and partly to others as well. I think when one person dies, the person brings away part of another person's life.

2) The cost of justice

What is justice? Is it worth the cost? Who can determine who is right and who is wrong? I've concluded that truly truly, human level of justice is imperfect and merely the tip of the iceberg of what TRUE justice is. Re-emphasizes the point that only God is able to be the final, consistent, fair and able judge.

Anyway, it's really costly to have justice in this world - both monetary and in terms of time and effort. And if justice is costly even at the human level, imagine the cost of true and pure justice! I think that's why the cost of God's justice is Jesus. I can't understand it, but that's because I'm just human :P

Forced to do a blogpost

~Nah! Rah! Grrrr! Hmmph!~

My Passing Out Parade (POP) Pictures

Eh... I can't remember the date of this event either!!! Oh my gosh... haha. I think it was 14 May 2009? *Oops*

I'm one of the girls in front, just behind the parade commander... can spot me? Haha.

The gals of C1/08 and C2/08... with my Bruneian squadmates :)

A really cool picutre of the just SPF gals

Pinxy and me!! We look like kids.

Pa and Ma and me :)

My sisters-in-Christ!! Really so touch that they came to support me!! The flowers are from them... plus chocs :) Sighs, miss Bee! So long since we've had a chat.

Dinner time... so must wear this penguin-like attire... haha. With some of my fellow squadmates.

A year ago pictures... haha!

PART 1: My Commencement... the day that I official graduate from my university... I think it was 14 July 2008. :P


















My ISE mates :)



















My Happy12Friends Gang... =)

















My family without the "studio" look






















My family with the "studio" look - I love the studio shots!!!






PART II: Hitomi and Andreas in Singapore

Andreas and Hitomi came over to Singapore (I can't even remember when!!!)


















Taken in their hotel - Pan Pacific (Interestingly it's gonna be where Daryl and Yvonne will hold their wedding)




















Shopping at Far East Plaza... we all bought the same pair of shoes! Haha, cos it was only $10 and Hitomi was the one who spotted it... Von and I would never have bought it if it was not for her cos it's the cutesy kind. Too bad I've only worn it once... :(




















And dinner to end off the day!! We got almost the whole Finland gang to join us. It was a great day =)

Work is sometimes rewarding

Since I keep going on and on about how terrible my work is (it still is... long hours, dreadfully never ending work, high stress, crap thrown at you), I've decided to add something nice. Just to end off my "Work is..." series. Haha.

Seriously, sometimes I find that I'm making a difference. But it's a rare feeling... mostly lasts for like 5 minutes. HaHA! I think sometimes I'm doing something good by removing some bad people from society. Other times, I'm doing something good cos I'm fighting for justice for some genuine victims.

One thing that I've learnt though, (Ariel will kill me for this... haha) crime is mostly because of silly people. Some commit crime from pure foolishness. On the other side of the spectrum, foolish people allow crime to be committed upon themselves. So you see, either way is not right.

Anyway, the rewarding part is when I remove those people who commit crime simply because they want to commit crime (i.e. no mitigating factors) and when I help victims who are unfortunate victims of crime (i.e. they did not bring it upon themselves from foolishness).

Another thing, I think MCYS is important, because generally criminals develop due to their upbringing. This reminds me of one of my most favourite movie and a quote from it:
"If you suffer your people to be ill-educated and their manners corrupted from infancy, then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded, Sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them?" - Ever After

Ok that's all for tonight... so super duper tired, but somehow felt like blogging a bit. Nighty!

~ "Where's your sense of adventure?" ~

Work is extremely tough

I'm suffering from a super jia lat fate for this month... I got four 24 hour tours... but the worst thing is the proximity of my tours... 6, 11 (only 3 days to breathe and complete my submissions) and then 22 and 26 (only 2 days?!!?!).

Actually I can swap if I wanted to I think, but it's such a hassle to find someone to change with me. So I just decided to deal with it. We shall see how it goes.

I'm also pressed on all sides for my project thingy in which I'm the chairman. ARGH.

I'm in whining mode... work is seriously draining... on thurs I went home at almost midnight cos I needed to finish up my submissions. Oh well.

But it's not only the physical element that is draining. I am also emotionally drained. =(

One good news: I finally managed to run today. FINALLY!! After almost 2 months. Griefs.

But at the end of all my whining, just like how a Psalm is like, I still want to give thanks for the things that I have in life. I have a wonderful supportive family, and great friends who are always willing to lend a listening ear. I am absolutely delighted to know that I have a God who loves me no matter what. And whatever that I'm going thru now is but a season in my life. Plus I get to eat good food =)

~ I am thankful to have you by my side ~

Work is destroying my running capability

Haha!! Since my life is almost 70% filled with work stuff, I decided to start a series on "Work is...", just like how Friends the comedy always label their episodes with "the one with/that/etc...".

So, my episode two involves the sad fate that I've not run since my AHM. ARGH! How lazy I've gotten!! Cos I always give the stupid excuse that I'm tired (but to give my brain and body credit, I am really tired lah, but still...). Grrrrrr, my stupid brain is psycho-ing my whole body. No! I will not allow that. Ok, so my aim is that for this week, NO MATTER WHAT, I better go at least run a tiny wheeny little bit. Haha, hopefully in my next blog posting I will have a successful update. Haha.

Till next time! =)

~ You can do it... don't give up!!~

Work is destroying my stomach

Sheesh... as what my title says... I think I'm developing gastric problems cos of my work. As some of you know, I work really long hours, and the worst is when I have 24 hr duty. I'm so busy and stressed during the duty that I don't have time to eat... sighs. Like for example, my most recent tour, I ate dinner at midnight and almost didn't eat anything until the next day dinner. And at one point I was in pain cos of gastric. ARGH. Seriously must learn to eat lah... but one step at a time lo... at least I'm still consistent about drinking water.

~ thinking of you and feeling proud of you ~

Coffee Bean, Egg, Carrot - Which one do you want to be?

Once upon a time, there lived Mr Egg, Mr Carrot and Mr Coffee Bean. They all belonged to one Master and they lived in a shelf in the Master's kitchen.

One day, Master took out a big pot and filled it with water. He lighted up the stove and placed the pot on the stove. The water soon started to heat up and bubble.

Mr Egg, Mr Carrot and Mr Coffee Bean watched from their shelf, wondering what was going to happen to them. They all knew that the Master's intention was to place them inside the pot of boiling water.

Mr Egg thought to himself, "I must show that I am strong! I will not lean on anyone because I know I can make it through on my own"

Mr Carrot thought "Oh no... boiling water?! Oh no... I don't think I can go through this... Why must Master put me through this?"

Mr Coffee Bean thought "It's not going to be easy in that boiling water. Hmmm, but surely Master wants me to carry out His great purpose. I shall trust in Him, and I will do His will."

And so, Master did put all three of them into the boiling pot. And this is what they did:
Mr Egg hardened. Mr Carrot softened.
But Mr Coffee Bean did not change - In fact, he changed the water that he was placed in, such that it became a lovely aromatic coffee, pleasing to the Master.


Just to share some stuff, I think my work is crazy madness, but at the same time if I can make it through unchanged (i.e. coffee bean!! Yes!) I think I'll surely become a stronger person (stronger, but not hardened I hope!). Actually what I do is partially meaningful cos when the bad ass idiots get what they deserve it's a good thing... only problem is all the paper work. Haiz.

Anyway, I think that I'm really going crazy... haha, cos I dream about my work... I think I worry cos it's so easy to do something wrong... there's so many many procedures for so many different kinds of cases. And each case can also go a different route. Must learn to give to God my burden!

One thing though, as ZM and I were discussing, after seeing so many different kinds of lives out there... I think I appreciate my family, my friends and my background like mad... so really thank God for placing me where I am. If you think your life is like crap, think again! There's so many more messed up lives out there... Let's give thanks for what we are blessed with ya? =)

Army Half Marathon 21k

Wooooo hooooo!!!! I did it! Haha... I'm very happy to say that I managed to run 21km in my life. Haha! I didn't think I could do it... actually I was very fearful the day before. Cos the most that I ever ran before was like 11km I think. =)

The run was good. Cos it was a nice route and could see many things around me. Plus there were really alot of people running, so it makes you feel more encouraged to press on! So I'm proud to say that I did it in 2h 45min. Hehe... at first I thought I would run for 4 hours... haha. So that's why I'm very happy with my timing!

After my 24

ha... can't believe that I've already done two "tours" (i.e. 24hr duty work but in actual fact I'm working for 30++ hours)!

Just ended my second one today... sighs, hate the fact that all the pimples started to pop up half way thru!! Only half way and they were so obvious that another random colleague mentioned it as well. SIGHS. WHY?!?! Haha, as you can see, I'm whinning again. But this is important leh... I mean after all, which girl won't want to look good right? Booboo =(

When I got home today and settled down, I thought of watching a movie first, cos I thought maybe I should just don't sleep until early evening. But then when I started to watch a bit, my small eyes got smaller... haha, so that's when I knew that my body is saying "hello woman?! please go get a nap for goodness sake".

And I think it's now time for my good night's rest. =)

Whining the day before my D-day

Strangly had the feeling of blogging. Haha... think it's cos I'm waiting for time to pass and to go to sleep early... which is soon (haha).

Anyway, tmr will be my first 24hr work thingy... Argh! I duno how I'll be like. I think everyone think's I'm very stressed. But I'm actually not. Sure, of cos I feel like I'm not as capable, but I'm determined to give it my best shot. Argh... really dun like that people keep thinking I'm stressed. And I also get the impression that people think that I cannot make it. Sighs... I hope not.

Ok, I should stop whinning...

I hope I can survive this two weeks ahead... think it was God's intention that my 24hr-tour is tmr, so that I lean on Him for strength and not on man.

- I think I'm deeper into the relationship than I thought I was and now I'm feeling it ever so strongly -

Charmed season 5 episode 2

Phoebe: What do you want me to say?

Cole: You don't have to say anything. All you have to do to free yourself is admit how you truly feel about me ... in your heart.

(Phoebe looks at Cole, knowing that he's right. She closes her eyes and bows her head. As she admits how she truly feels about her relationship with Cole, her mermaid's tail transforms back into her pair of legs. Phoebe frees herself.)

(Cole stands and holds out his hand to Phoebe . Phoebe takes his hand and also stands up. Cole removes his jacket and tenderly places it around Phoebe's shoulders.)

Phoebe : How could you be so sure?

Cole: I had a feeling.

(Phoebe, warm and wrapped in Cole's jacket, lifts it to her nose and inhales. She smiles and looks up at Cole.)

Phoebe: I do love you, and I always will. But it doesn't change anything. It doesn't matter. It's over between us.

(Cole acknowledges what she says and says nothing himself. The two stand alone on the beach and looking into each others eyes as the camera moves to the ocean waves behind them.)


~you won't know how much someone means to you until you open your heart to admit it~

It's almost a year since my last post

Actually... this post is for something that I wrote on 23 Aug 2008 but I realise that I forgot to post it... and that actually it's just a super summary. But whatever, I shall just throw it in for the sake of throwing it in. Haha. :P

But just to add on... so many things have changed since Aug last year... reading the things that I wrote in Aug feels so strange now. *mona lisa / introspective mood*

P.S. my 2.4km run record is currently 12.01min! =)


Fusion Post of Past Events (23 Aug 2008)

Cos of absolute lack of time combined with laziness… I shall do a fusion update of my past 4 months… haha.

Major events in my life in the past 4 months:

May
- Hitomi and Andreas came to Singapore!
- Went to the zoo and felt like a kid again… so fun!

June
- Went to Bintan, loved the company and had a crazy 2D1N there
- Managed to run to Bedok Reservoir and back!
- Managed to run to East Coast and back!!
- Had a great church camp at KL
- Went to Langkawi and had fun!
- Went to Genting for day trip but was a bit disappointing
- Ate like a pig at my auntie’s place at KL and was extremely reluctant to come back to Singapore :)
- Had many sister’s gatherings, sleepovers and outings!!

July
- Commencement and family studio photo (which I love!)
- Cut my hair very short… and I think it’s ugly *eeks*
- Started “work” aka training, which has been fun and interesting :)

August
- Passed my driving basic theory test
- Got a surprise birthday celebration from my squad, haha
- Ran 2.4km in 12 min 48 sec!! Gosh gosh